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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Little Men

My night out with the girls didn't go exactly as planned.  A split second moment ruined the entire night. (I'll get back to that in a minute) So, me and the twentysomethings were at one of the hottest spots in town having a great time, there were so many of us from work it was awesome.  I wore a cute t-shirt dress and high heels ( I usually can't wear heels because I tore my Achilles tendon awhile back) We were all dancing, hugging, drinking, at least they were drinking.  I didn't want to anger my liver so close to my potential surgery date, so I stayed sober all night.  I was still able to have fun even with out alcohol.

So the bar was totally crowded, and being a chubby girl, I need some extra room to move through the crowd.  So being the awesome individual that I am was trying to be all cute about it and excused myself by saying "Sorry, but I have the chubb, so I need some extra room."  Well this dork and his girlfriend decided to make fun of the fat chick.   Blond chick said, "oh he likes you"  I could tell they were young, so I just said " you didn't have to be rude." and went back to my party. (this wasn't IT btw)

More of our friends came in, so I went over to say hi.  Blond Chick and her Oompa Loompa boyfriend over at the bar ordering a drink and they were bumping into me and flicking my hair!  Like really, REALLY!  When I looked at them they laughed and turned around, I told them to Eff off.  I went back to my party for a minute and watched where they went to sit........something told me that I could not let this go.  

I composed myself and went up to him "If you ever put your hands on me again I'm going to pound you"  He lost his mind told me to "fuck off, to go fuck myself "  and so on, I don't remember those ommpa loompa being so aggressive.  I was so pissed off, that he was being so childish.  Especially since I had done nothing wrong, and I had been nothing but nice up  until that point.  I did make sure to let him know what I thought of his package. (it's a cocktail wiener for sure) 

Oh, and by the way when getting cut off while driving, instead of giving the middle finger make a hand gesture (using your thumb and index finger to show an inch or how ever generous you feel that day) to show how big you think his "unit" is,  I find that is WAY more effective than the finger any day!  I told the lovely couple that I hoped they would marry each other because they deserved each other.

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