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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Under the Microscope

Being a bariatic patient means that for the rest of your life you'll be put under a microscope.  "Jen, how much weight have you lost"  Oh I have lost 59 pounds so far "OMG Jen thats waaaaaaay too much" OR "Hmmm, I thought it would be more"    really because, I thought that you wouldn't be so ugly up close.  Another one of my favorite questions is "are you ALLOWED to eat that" or "do you eat real food" yeah I am, dumb ass, if I am putting it in my mouth, I am "allowed" to eat it, are you really allowed to walk around without a helmet?

Those are just a few of the idiotic things stupid people say to me on a regular basis.  I am also being compared to like all the other people on earth that have ever had bariatric surgery.  " Well my cousin Timmy had the surgery and he can't eat lettuce, how come you can?"  or "you better be careful because my Great Aunt Rhoda gained back all of her weight because this surgery DOESN'T WORK"  I'm sorry to say, but I am not Timmy, nor am I Rhoda, and the surgery does work if follow the guidelines and make lifestyle changes to support your new pouch. 

Monday, June 13, 2011

Just try and shut me up!

Now that I am back, just try to shut me up........  Its amazing how good you feel when that one little thing in your life starts to change.  I feel wicked awesome about the changes I am making inside and out, but I am still feel like I am swimming with water wings on in a pool of syrup.  I am taking things one day at a time and even though I am behind schedule weight loss wise according to my dietitian.  Ummmm, I don't really exactly WTF they expect from me, but she was all, like using her calculator and stuff.  I had a plateau AGAIN, so I know that I am not going to measure up at my next appointment, but whatev's.  I have always been a rule breaker.

So, even though I am doing wicked awesome, I still need my support system.  I had an appointment with Katie, you might remember her from my previous post........ (  A friend from our Wednesday community game group was just leaving, he will remain nameless as I am now going to make fun of him, as I did that day in front of the elevator.  So Katie, who is normally an eyes up kinda girl, or so I though...... noticed that under my pretty springy dress I had a camisole that was slightly exposed (you know where) our friend is soooooooo NOT an eyes up kind of guy.  Every time at group he sneaks a peek at the fraternals.  Now that I have lost 57 pounds my boobs (the fraternals) are getting smaller than before.  I can't wait for plastic surgery to even them out and put them back where they belong.

Of course Katie and I got way off topic during my appointment, we talked about her new beau, about how he is prettier than her, about how wicked awesome I am, stuff like that.  Katie told me about all her fun new programs that were available for several reasons, one she wants me to be a healthier person, 2 because she wishes I was her sisters and wants to hang out with me more, and 3 because it was the essence of our appointment. 

We got so far off topic that Katie had to call me back the next day to do some kind of test that she forgot to make me write.  The test wasn't really a big deal it was just to see what level of crazy I currently am.  Somehow I passed with flying colours.  I think it was all a part of her plan to hang out with me more.  She is such an evil genius.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I'm Back!

I am Back!  I suffered a mild case of the I don't give a shits.  I was all like feeling sorry for myself because I hit a plateau like 2 times! I've been bored and I have no pretty clothes any more ('cause they are all too big).  Since I haven't been working I am too poor to buy myself pretty things and Jer is too poor to give me walking around money.  I guess its a good thing I'm going back to work on Friday. 

I went to see a movie with my friend Jenny.  Jenny is special, not Forrest Gump special, but been my friend through thick and thin, Christmas morning kind of special.  We were each others brides maids, so it was very fitting that we went to see Brides Maids together. 

The universe has wanted Jenny and I to be  friends since the beginning of time.  Because Jenny was a November baby we missed being at the same school together in JK/SK.  Her parents moved across the street from my childhood home about a year after we moved away.  Our husbands went to high school together and where on the same curling teams.  And  one fateful afternoon I was working at one of my first jobs.  It was a shitty job.....I was the "would you like to apply for a Sears card" girl.  Jenny worked in the hair salon and liked my free gifts.  The universe finally won!