Eternity

My Hubby took me to the movies tonight and it started out great until Movie Douche and his date sat in front of us.  He was clearly trying to impress her and by the smell of her she was doing the same.  She took a perfume shower in Eternity by Calvin Klein the one scent that  you should always abide by the squirt and walk through method for application.

  This smell has actually made me tango with the toilet once, I was at a meeting and this chick must have gotten an Eternity Set for her birthday, the one with the lotion, body wash, shampoo, hairspray, laundry soap, AND aux de toilette.  She had so much on the whole room was one big perfume cloud.   

I buried my head in the bag of pop corn I had in front of me to mask the aroma from the chick in front of me.

So back to douche bag and his date, he was all like "these seats suck, why can't they make anything right in this city blah blah blah I'm a douche!"  Then he noticed one of his friends had come in and sat 3 rows ahead of him and was all "Heeeeey Bruno, it's me Tony"  totally cock blocked his friend and himself. 

So, most people know that there are certain rules at the movie theatre right?  Like Number 1, once the lights go down, your basically sitting in the front row.  None of this "Hey you, you there is that seat taken?  Can you 2 scootch over?  Did they scootch? I don't think they scootched? "   Ya bitch we scootched do you want some of my popcorn too?  Ummmm lady, your friend isn't coming, we have all stood up so you could get by and now he's leaving.  "He has to make a bowel movement, he'll be right back".  Oh so I guess he will be sitting beside me then great, thanks. 

Number 2, if you're in a couple or with the person beside you,  you 2 SHARE an

armrest and the other one is just there for show (the one between you and me).  So after the dude comes back from going potty he puts his arm on my chub, for the whole fricken movie.  I don't even let Jer touch my chub, he cant even touch it when it's "business time" and this guy OMG, he kept digging into his pockets on my side of the arm rest.  I'm a big girl, I have the chub, I take up the entire movie theatre chair, so don't touch me! 

Number 3, unless you are in a children's movie, I'm only going to get up once for you if its to go to the washroom, to make me scootch over so you can be a rule breaker, and if you're going to leave, you do it during the credits not with 40 minutes left! 

  

 

So this other chick and her daughter came late too and she was all like a stewardess in the row ahead of us.  She was so ballsy, she didn't even make the people stand she just walked right in front of them  "are those seats free? you two move over, honey over here (pointing and motioning) here sweetie I found us a spot (again pointing downward to the chairs) right here!"  She totally made douche bag and his girlfriend move over, they got pissed half way through the movie and moved to the front of the theatre.  The dude beside me left early too which I find crazy

 weird, why would you spend good money on a movie night, cause such a scene to get a seat, and then leave half way through.  The movie did have to do with God, maybe Dude didn't believe in God and was offended that there wasn't a warning of religious content in the movie trailer, it also had to do with water and boats.  Maybe, Dude doesn't believe in boats either, I dunno?  People are weird.